


Something Good

by celeste9



Series: February Challenge Fics [26]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Male-Female Friendship, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13812156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: Poe hadn’t known Paige well, and he knew Rose barely at all, but he felt like he owed it to Paige to look after her sister now that she couldn’t. He felt like he needed to do something.





	Something Good

**Author's Note:**

> Day 26: picnic

The weather on the planet where the Resistance had settled was variable. The first week had been wet and chilly, but it had warmed some, and it hadn’t rained in three days. When the sun was out it wasn’t bad, though jackets were mostly required, at least for humans. For Poe’s heat-acclimated body, it wasn’t his favorite planet he had ever stayed on.

But it was safe, for now, and it was a place to recuperate, in more ways than one.

The days were busy and Poe liked that; he always felt better when he had something to work on, to focus on, to occupy his mind and his body. He didn’t do well with long stretches of standing still and nothingness. There was time, though, sometimes, to rest a little, and that was good.

He thought they all needed it.

Rose had been surprised when he found her in the hangar, stretched beneath an A-wing, and asked her if she wanted to have lunch with him. She stumbled over her words and smeared grease on her face but agreed, though the stream of conversation she kept up as she walked by his side was obviously nervous.

He wanted to tell her to relax a little, that he didn’t bite, but somehow he struggled with the concept of putting Rose at ease. Maybe it was that he could feel his own nerves, the anxiety that pulled at his insides, the memory of… of...

Sometimes Poe wondered how Rose could even look at him.

_I killed your sister,_ he thought, as Rose kept talking about engine modifications.

No. That wasn’t fair. Paige had made her own choice, and Poe wouldn’t be arrogant enough to take her heroism from her. But the guilt, and the responsibility, that was his to own. He hadn’t killed Paige Tico but he had put her in the position to make the choice herself. He still wasn’t sure he would have done things differently, even knowing how it had played out, but it haunted him anyway.

“I hope this wasn’t too forward,” Poe said, leading them through the trees, finding a little grove in a patch of sunlight that looked nice for a spot to sit down. “Or too weird? I just thought… you’re always so cooped up on base.”

“It’s nice,” Rose said. “My sister Paige and I used to like to take walks on D’Qar. I haven’t really…” She bit her lip.

There it was, what this was really about. Paige. Paige, who had died in her bomber, blowing up a First Order dreadnought on Poe’s command.

Paige Tico, who left behind her beloved little sister, Rose.

Poe hadn’t known Paige well, and he knew Rose barely at all, but he felt like he owed it to Paige to look after her sister now that she couldn’t. He felt like he needed to do something.

“Sorry it’s not a bit warmer, but this is good, right?” he said, spreading out a rolled up towel he had brought and kneeling down with the food he had obtained from the mess.

“It’s beautiful here,” Rose said, so genuine. “You’re right, I have been inside too much. Thanks for thinking of me.”

The words almost made Poe wince. Rose shouldn’t thank him for anything. He wondered if this wasn’t selfish, like he was using her to assuage his own guilt. Maybe it would be better if he left her alone, so she would never have to look at his face, so he wouldn’t be there as a reminder of the death of her sister.

But she was a sweet young woman, and Poe honestly wanted to give her something good. That wasn’t wrong, was it?

“Finn likes you a lot,” Poe said, offering her some bread. “I thought it would be nice if we spent some time together. And your… your sister, she was really proud of you.”

“Paige called you a hotshot flyboy,” Rose said, a tiny smile on her face. “But she admired you, too. Said no one could do the things with a ship you could, but she was damn well going to try.”

Poe felt like his insides were shriveling, like he would collapse from within. He couldn’t stop the apology that burst forth from him. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Rose shook her head. “Don’t be. I was… so angry at you, at first. That was your mission, and you let her die. You chose the mission over her. But Paige, she… she always said we had to do our part, even when it was hard, even when it hurt, and that’s what she did.” She wiped her hand beneath her nose, sniffling, her eyes bright. “I’m proud of her. I miss her every second but I’m so proud of her, and she did what she thought was right until the very last instant.”

“She was brave, and she was a hero,” Poe said, and the words felt pathetic but he didn’t know what else to say. It was true, but he was sure it was hollow comfort, particularly coming from him.

“Yes, she was.” Rose looked up at him. “Finn talks about you all the time. I almost feel like I know you. I know that you’re a good person, because he believes you are. I know Paige wouldn’t be sorry for what happened, so you shouldn’t be, either. She did what needed to be done, and so did you.”

“I made a mistake,” Poe whispered, his mouth so dry. But he thought he would do it all again, if he was honest. He still believed that in that moment, that had been the right call to make. Did that make him a terrible person?

“Did my sister die for a mistake?”

“No,” Poe said, and that answer was easy at least. “No, she died for the Resistance, because it was our best chance.” He still believed that. He knew why General Organa didn’t and he knew why she had been angry. But while Poe could regret all the lives lost he couldn’t regret what they had done, or that he had pushed them forward. It didn’t lessen the guilt but it eased him a little, knowing what they had died for.

Look bigger, the general said. Look beyond the present goal.

All those lives. It was a terrible thing. Poe knew that, and he wouldn’t forget it. He hadn’t thought while it was happening and he should have. But it might have saved lives, too, taking out that ship. It was no good second-guessing now. He couldn’t change anything, and they were still here. Poe, and Rose, and the Resistance.

“Okay, then,” Rose said, and they sat quietly.

Poe ate a piece of fruit and shivered; he thought he should have put on an extra shirt beneath his jacket. He looked at the trees around them, thin and scraggly compared to D’Qar or to Yavin 4, but tall and reaching for the sun. From the trees he looked to Rose, her expression so calm and serene as she enjoyed the sunlight.

_I can do this one thing,_ Poe thought. _Something good._

“I know this isn’t D’Qar,” he said, hesitation in it, “and I’m… I’m not Paige, but I hope… I…”

Rose touched Poe’s wrist. “I know. Thank you.”

“I’d like to know you, Rose,” he said, and her answering smile was bright and sweet.

“I’d like that, too,” she said, and they sat together in peaceful, comfortable quiet.


End file.
